Parenting during these "tween" years is more complicated than I had imagined. My daughter and I are still close, but her friends are starting to play an increasingly large role in her life. I want to help her understand the importance of creating friendships that nurture her, as well as helping her to see how much of her daily life can be improved simply by focusing on the positive. I'm constantly saying to my kids, "What you focus on expands," and "what you appreciate, appreciates." I'm convinced that this is one of the most important and rewarding lessons a young person can learn.
Jill Schoenberg has written a book for girls ages 8 to 14 that reinforces these ideas. In Journal Buddies: A Girl's Journal for Sharing and Celebrating Magnificence (there's a boy version, too) Schoenberg outlines a method of journaling that is all about focusing on the positive. It guides girls to identify the traits, qualities and talents that they like about themselves and others, because, as Schoenberg explains to her young readers in the book's introduction, when you practice looking for the positive things, it becomes easier to see the positive things.
To help kids comprehend journaling as something that isn't like homework and doesn't even necessarily involve writing, Schoenberg encourages self-expression not just through words but also through drawings, doodles, photos, collages, stickers... anything the child feels most comfortable using to express her ideas. To trigger the creative imagination, the author also includes 89 creative journaling ideas that spark some great insights, from "Research your hero (historical, musical, sports...) and find similarities between your hero and you" to "Imagine the world you wish you could live in right now and write about it or draw a picture of it."
Each of the book's thirty journal entries consists of:
-A "thought for the day"
- A place for the journal keeper and her journal buddy to write down what they like about each other (This journal buddy can be anyone: a parent, teacher, mentor, friend, or sibling, for example, and the journal buddy can change from day to day.)
- A word to focus on for the day (such as "magical," "joy," "possibilities")
- Blank pages for creative self expression
Following the thirty journal entries is a special section for reflection.
When I first picked up this book, I was concerned about the necessity of the Journal Buddy. As an introverted child, I used my journal to write about things that I wouldn't want to share with a buddy. But as I started working with it, I realize that the buddy concept is what sets this book apart. It takes creative journaling to a new level and helps kids recognize and appreciate the positive aspects of one another. The result is a book that the child will treasure as it contains lists of a child's positive traits, as identified by another person - as well as positive traits that the child has identified in her buddies.
In the book's introduction, Schoenberg writes: "If you choose to complete this journal, here's what I think will happen: You'll begin to feel stronger and braver day by day, and your kindness and creativity will expand too. You might even strengthen your character so much that the day will come when you will be able to be kind to anyone, anyplace, regardless of what they are doing. You may also become brave enough to openly share your magnificent self with anyone, anywhere, anytime!"
It's so nurturing when our daughters can build relationships built on kindness and building one another up, particularly at this age. The JournalBuddies.com website features free book excerpts for download, and you can purchase the books directly from the website. Both Journal Buddies titles are also available on amazon.com and bn.com.
Susie Cortright is the founder of Susies-Coupons.com and Momscape.com, a website devoted to helping moms celebrate life with children. Read more about Jill Schoenberg's book or enjoy amazon coupons or Barnes & Noble Coupons from Susie's websites.
